Thursday, January 8, 2009

My Brain Tumor is Making Me Crazy!

 I was just commenting to my reader Yukon that I have had an inordinate number of doctor visits, even for me, tumorgirl.

In some ways this is normal. I have heard many other brain tumor patients say that when they get headaches or other ailments others may take for granted, they or their loved ones start connecting the dots to the tumor...Is it growing?  Is it residual effects from surgery, radiation or chemo? Or is it just a headache?

Me. I'm concerned about a number of things,  My last scan showed no change, but I've noticed differences in me that may or  may not be tumor related. At this point, whether or not there is any cancer in my head, my head suffered trauma, and every once in awhile it likes to remind me.

For example, my hearing; I can hear you if it's just you and me, but I'll miss about half your words if you talk to me in a restaurant. I saw a specialist who referred me to another specialist.

My sight:  The gene gods didn't shine on me when they gave me this sense anyway, but my vision is changing in my left eye.  Anyone else would say, "Oh, I'm just getting older",  but I say, "It's my tumor, AND I'm getting older.

And I'm definitely loosing some impulse control, or as my sister likes to call it--filter. I blurt out things that don't make sense, often out of context and at the wrong time. A conversation with me can go something like this:

Me:  I really liked the book Kite Runner...Anyway, I don't like cheese; although, I had some good cheddar cheese in Wisconsin.  Have you ever been to Wisconsin?  My mom was born there.

So in your conversation with me, you can go from the Kite Runner to cheddar cheese to Wisconsin.

When I do that feel free to say "WTF?" and "Stop your brain, I want to get off!"

I feel another reality check coming on.

By the way, a friend of mine from the brain tumor support group I attend is going in for her 3rd surgery! 

Brain cancer--The New Cancer. My we find a cause and cure!


Anne said...

Came across your blog today and thought I'd leave you a comment. What an inspiration you are to many, I'm sure. =) So did you say that your brain cancer is in remission?

Eden Jones said...

Anne--Thank you for reading. I really don't know how to answer the question of whether the tumor is in remission. I am still getting MRI's (every three months), but it hasn't grown and I'm not currently taking nasty chemicals for it. The biggest issue for me is more the residual damage of surgery and treatment, as as long as there is any tumor left, there is danger of it growing back.