Sunday, February 21, 2010

Eden's Choice.

There are many things pressing on my mind. I'm pretty sure I have mentioned them all, but this past Thursday, I needed to make a decision. That day I had no other appointments, so I had the option(s) of:
  1. Visiting my aunt, who I have not seen since her Alzheimer's diagnosis.
  2. Accompanying my dad to an MRI. He's getting checked because he is noticing some changes in HIS memory.
  3. Visiting a friend(Lisa), who just had her second brain surgery.
I wanted to do all three, stupidly feeling like just my presence would help them, but I chose to make the drive to visit my friend, thinking she was in the most need of my support.

By the time I arrived at SW Washington Medical Center. I was sent home, as Lisa was not well enough for visitors. Thankfully her sister briefed me on her condition, and after being in ICU since last Wednesday, Lisa may finally be moved to a regular room tomorrow.

But I realize that I can't make anyone better just by being there. I have no power or control, and I keep wondering who does.

Monday, February 15, 2010

Getting old...It's not just for old people anymore.

This thought has struck me on a number of occasions, because more and more people that I know and love have some kind of chronic illness, or even life-threatening illness. And some of them are just in their 40s:

I know three women in their 40s with brain cancer.

I go to a writing group of about 8 women who have breast or ovarian cancer or both.

I have former classmates who have horrible illnesses such as MS, Rheumatoid Arthritis, brain cancer, and congestive heart failure, just to name a few.

And just this week, my aunt, who has always been spry and vivacious was diagnosed with Alzheimer's.

I don't consider myself old, but I am hard pressed to find a friend or loved one who is in good health. My former classmates and my aunt are all freeze framed in my mind from when I was a child. When you are a child, you don't imagine getting older, or those around you getting older.

Time is the avenger.


Dedicated to my Aunt Vivian who turned 73 today. She always liked this song.

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Can God Cure Cancer Or Other Illnesses, and Does God Provide Jobs?

A brief update: My tumor may or may not be growing. It looked bigger on my last scan, but contrast didn't show any new growth. Still, my doctor is concerned enough about it, that for the time being, she is increasing the frequency of my MRIs. Meantime, my husband is back down to no job and no current prospects. After interviewing him six times, the company at which he most recently interviewed decided that it would restructure and not hire. Goody Gumdrops!

When I go through a bad patch in my life, some people will say that they will pray for me. That is there way of saying they care, and I appreciate it. What I don't understand in my naivete about God is: How does He get one through a difficult time? And if tragedy befalls someone despite prayer, why? Were there not enough prayers? Did God for some reason want the tragedy to happen, to teach a lesson? If I were a stronger believer, would I not have cancer, and would my husband have a job ?

Questions=Millions; Answers=0

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Smells Like MIddle Age Spirit

Sing this to the tune of Nirvana's "Smells Like Teen Spirit"

I can't get up
I'm in pain.
In my back
And in my legs.

Blood pressure's high
And I can't see,
Or hear,
Or let my breasts be free.

Oh no, Oh no, Oh no, Oh no,
Oh no, Oh no, Oh no, Oh no!

Well my bod looks
like a road map.
Now I better
go get my nap.
My memory is
Starting to fade.
Can I get a
System upgrade!


My kid thinks I'm
An old dork.
We fight all night
'Bout his homework.
He says it's done
I know it's not.
He sucks the energy I've got.

Oh no, Oh no, Oh no, Oh no,
Oh no, Oh no, Oh no, Oh no!

Well my bod looks
like a road map.
Now I better go get my nap.
My memory is
Starting to fade.
Can I get a
System upgrade!


And now it's time
to go out.
I announce I'm leaving
with a shout.
My keys are hard
hard to find.
Well, whatever, nevermind.