Monday, September 8, 2008

Dropping the c-Bomb Part 6

Fast forward to today.  

As of now I am off chemotherapy, but we're watching my head closely with scans and blood tests every three months.

I am thrilled to have this break from chemo.  Sometimes I am told "you didn't have the heavy-duty chemo". It's true that it was convenient to be able to take it at home, and at one point I thought Temodar wasn't "heavy-duty" chemo either.

Until I actually took it.

I mentioned that every once in a while, I have to make a reality check--have a "come to Jesus" meeting with my head. Today was one of those days--MRI day.

MRIs are like being buried alive with Beck music, specifically the following tracks:
"Devil's Haircut", "E-pro" and "Novacane".  This threw me for a loop the first time I had one, but now I'm a Zen Master.  I can almost sleep through the exam.

I can't help but get nervous on MRI day. Today it took longer than usual--more like 45 minutes instead of the standard 30 minutes. As I write this I'm wondering if the test showed scary changes. If it didn't this time, it might next time, or the time after that. All will be revealed in a week when I visit my current oncologist. 

In my more sober moments, I have referred to my tumor as an assassin or stalker, threatening me, but never letting me know when or if it's going to pull the trigger.

So I'll go listen to some Beck.

1 comment:

Yukon said...

Well, first let me say, I loved the yurt post and the deer pic was lovely. Now on to the "dropping the C-bomb part 6..." Well, Ede's as we have discussed many times, having total empathy and "imagining" what it is like in no way resembles dealing with what you are dealing with. For me, I empathize and imagine all the time, and yet, let's be real, I get to go on to my "cancer-free" life and you do not. I have -- "enjoyed" (ok, not the word I want, but hopefully you know what I mean!) -- reading your posts about this. Not only your humor, but the fact that it gives me more perspective. At our book group, we were speaking of "windows" on to other cultures/lives and how, while that doesn't make you "know" anything but that vision through that window, it's still enlightening. I would say the same applies to your blog posts -- which I enjoy reading very, very much.

On a totally random note, do you have ANY CLUE what is wrong with MY brain that the Partridge Family Song "Hello World There's a Song That We're Singing -- Come On Get Happy..." (which I believe was the "theme song" tune for the show) keeps going through my head?

If you tell Bruce, I'm sure he will say that while I do not argue with myself, I am, in fact, certifiable! What the heck? Where do these things come from? THE PARTRIDGE FAMILY? What next, Bobby Sherman, The Archies, Josie and the Pussycats????