Saturday, January 2, 2010

pretty on the inside

No...I'm not that either...too big of an ego...too selfish, but I will never be pretty on the outside, and I'm not sure I will ever be convinced that outside beauty matters more than character.

When I was younger, looking good was the difference between getting a date, and getting a "friend". When you are older, it can sometimes mean the difference between getting hired for a job-- or not.

I have always been hung up on how shitty I look. I will try to take care of the part that's my fault. Most of my life I've battled weight, and sadly it's too much of an effort to get my weight where it needs to be.

But I looked at a picture of myself today and I nearly threw up. How can I go out in public like that, I thought. Must be the brain tumor.

Well, I would like to go to my 25th high school reunion, so today begins my quest to look as good as I can, so I don't shock my classmates. I really don't want to be seen looking like I do now. And I don't want to die looking like this.

So the quest begins.

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