A week in The LiFe

Just finished up a round of chemotherapy and today I had an MRI. Sometimes it seems I'm always at the doctor's office Here's how next week is shaping up:

Monday: Hopefully I will have the Plantar Wart of Doom removed

Tuesday: I will get the results of my latest MRI and find out whether I live or die (Well that's what it feels like when your wondering if your cancer has grown.)

Wednesday: Therapy, because everyone around me needs it

Thursday: Go see a play and get a break from doctor's YAY!

Friday: Entertain my son and his friend

Grace

Depending on who you talk to, I'm either handling my terminal illness with a positive attitude and humor, or am becoming so bitter and angry that no one will want to be my caregiver when I really need one. As in--wipe my bottom--need one.

The thing is, as much as I would like to, I can't make myself feel better about my illness, let alone someone else. My perspective is that of a patient, not a caregiver. Every day I do the best I can to work with what brain power I still have left, and compensate for what I don't have.

I have had a tendency since before my illness, and certainly now, to go negative and think about the things that suck, but especially since I am dying, such thinking is counterproductive. So from here on end I will try to adapt an attitude of I DON'T CARE...as in:

• I'm not jealous of someone who seems better off than I am
• I don't care that someone called me fat and ugly 25 years ago
• I don't care what someone else thinks of me
• I don't care that my career was short
• I don't really care that I'm dying but I would like to control the timing of my passing

In other words, I am going to try to kick my shit to the curb. I don't want to take it with me.

I hope I am successful in this endeavor.

Have bullies changed

My son is navigating the tough waters of Middle School and the stupid stuff that comes with it--crushes, mean teachers and bullying.

I am concerned that the powers at be don't seem to know the difference between a bully and a pain in the ass.

When I was in middle school I was bullied, because I was threatened, told (via a letter in my locker) I would be beaten up on my way home from school. In my case, I went to a counselor and named names. I assumed I was right in my guess, because I received no more threats.

My son says he's being bullied but won't talk to counselors or teachers at school about it. They don't seem to take him seriously. We have found someone he will talk to. Meantime he keeps lamenting how bullies seem to know when there isn't a safe person around, and how bullies bring their "friends" for backup. He thinks bullies are smarter than back in my day, but I don't think it was smart to write a note and stuff it in my locker. Whoever did that was just as cowardly as any bully today.

I'm glad bullying is getting some attention, because it didn't until some kids started committing suicide because of it.

School grounds should be safe for all. A child who goes to school in fear can't learn.

but not the barreness

I think my hair is coming back. There are still a few thin spots, but I'm going to see if the hair I have will cover them.

Considering the worthlessness of my womb, it's good to know I'm fertile somewhere. My head it like the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree: It just needs a little love. It needs a lot of love, actually. To the left you see what my hair looked like while I was having my head shaved to even things out. To the right, it appears to be growing back. Below is the status of my hair today.

More on the "wedding"

The wedding and the honeymoon will most likely be at the University of California San Francisco, one of the best brain tumor hospitals on the west coast and in the nation.

The wedding night will be spent in one of those MRI machines...Should be cozy and quiet.

An Open Invitvitation

Me and Temodar...We have a thing going on now. I have produced for the poison two bastard children in our four-year on again/off again relationship.

Man up Temodar...It's time for a commitment!

We will be married. I'm shooting for June 27Th 2011, the fifth anniversary of my first surgery.It will be an elegant dinner affair with a DJ playing songs like:

Wanted Dead or Alive

Tears in Heaven

Another One Bites the Dust

Dinner will be fiber cereal with prune juice, served in champagne glasses

Instead of wedding cake, we will serve Temodar Spiked Brownies.

Our party favors will be anti-nausea pills for our beloved guests to bring home.

By the way, we are registered at Walgreen's Specialty Pharmacy in Pennsylvania

Indeed, till death do us part.

Eden Godbey Jones

Sung to the tune of Eleanor Rigby

Ah...look at all the cancer patients

Ah...look at all the cancer patients

Eden Godbey Jones

puts on a wig that she keeps on a Styrofoam head

glad she's not dead

Isn't she cute now,

flapping her arms in frustration

as if she could fly.

instead she just sighs

All the cancer patients

You see them more and more

all the cancer patients

and still there is no cure

Ah look at all the cancer patients

Ah...look at all the cancer patients

Dr Johnny D...

takes a saw to your head,

it's his idea of fun.

fun in a bun.

Look at him working

wracks up the cases so he can buy a new boat

or maybe a lab coat

All the cancer patients

You see them more and more.

All the cancer patients

and still there is no cure.