Friday, August 13, 2010

There she blows

Second round of chemo, perhaps out of infinity...My surgeon told me I could be on it forever. I'm on an increased dose this round, so this morning, I responded in kind by barfing out the contents of my stomach... I have done nothing of any use to anyone today. It's days like these I really hate what's happening to me. Everyone else seems to be living normal life, I'm just trying to have one. I hope I remember this day, and look back on this post when my tumor comes back again. As of right now, I have no intention of doing this again.

I have been asked many times if I have prognosis. I don't, but the facts are these:

The doctors are treating this aggressively;

my tumor is a grade 3 out of 4;

when radiation is over, that will be one less weapon I will have in my arsenal;
It took four years for the tumor to grow to a point where is needed to be resected again.

Today was a bad day. No one may want to hear that, but that is my reality.

1 comment:

Yukon said...

I don't mind hearing it was a bad day. You have those, you're entitled to those.
As you know, I can well relate to the perils of uncontrollable hurling. That said, I would never say "I know how you feel" because, clearly, I don't.
You are allowed bad days. Your incredible moxy is dazzling to many -- far and wide -- not just me. I know, the "press on spirit" will grip you again and you will, once again, move forward with a strength I marvel at. In the meantime, allow yourself a bad day. I hope you get some hugs. I'm sending some your way. If the spouse and son aren't generous enough with them, be demanding! :)