That's the way I always heard it should be.

After 17 years of marriage, I have learned a few things about "love".

One does not get or give more love when one is married.

You can be married with children and still be lonely.

Having someone ask you to marry him does not mean you have "arrived" in some cosmic way.

Intimacy is frankly sometimes based on obligation, and not on some kind of inner fire.

So what is a good marriage? I don't know, but I no longer believe in fairy tales. I will use whatever power I have to make my marriage better. Problem is I don't have much power.