a fond memory

It was when I found out my tumor had grown to a point where I needed to consult a surgeon about a possible second surgery. Of course I was afraid. I was paralyzed after my first surgery, and now I was being asked to submit to a second. Who would I be when I was done? Me or a vegetable?

I talk to my mom and sister daily. Usually I call them, but this one time my sister called me, and she asked if I (we) would be interested in going to Hawaii or some other place where I could get my mind of my upcoming troubles. We (her little family and mine) ended up going to Kauai, truly a paradise.

Ironically, I was carded when I went to order my sister and myself lime daiquiris.

"Do you have ID?" the person behind the counter asked. I didn't, so I went to get my sister, thinking she could use her ID. During this time I am thinking There is no way in hell I look under 21, I'm 43 and I'm dying. Give me my drink for Chrissakes!

The rest is history: I had my surgery, my tumor is more aggressive, I had radiation and have been on chemotherapy since last July. I never would have made it through all of that without the trip. It was nearly impossible to think a bad thought while I was in Hawaii. And whether she knows it or not, I am very grateful to my sister for knowing exactly what I needed.

Going to paradise--a strange way to mark the unpleasant milestones of my cancer journey. I went there after my first surgery too.