I would rather be pooped and barfed on again.

I'm still struggling with my son's pre-teen attitude. This past week, for the first time in awhile, I was totally in charge of him. My husband was out of town on a job interview. Thanks to the school district website, I find out he is pulling Cs, Ds and Fs in his classes, and I throw the book at him. Just as he's beginning to start playing on the computer, I shake my head, and tell him he's lost his computer privilege until he's my age.

"Mother!" he screams, thankfully not followed by "fucker".

I tell him as calmly as I can that it seems like the computer is a distraction for him, and until such time as he brings his grades up, he won't get the computer back.

"You're making me angry!" snorts the son.

"Oh good!" say I.

So, I'm thinking that as a parent, I have a choice: I can intellectually spar with an 11-year-old boy, or be sleep-deprived and pooped and barfed on in the middle of the night.

I very much want to live to see the day when all of this translates into my son being the good citizen I know he can be. Still I wish I could skip his adolescence and go straight to the well-rounded adult with a nice wife and kids.

To the parents of the world, I feel your pain, every time I ruin my son's life.