A colonoscopy and a job offer.

Yes they do go together. At the risk of revealing too much information, my husband accidentally scheduled a routine exam on the same day as he was to have an important interview. On the h of my sister, and being made aware of this mistake he rescheduled in order to have his head clear for his interview.

In one of those lovely cases of serendipity, he gets a good scan,comes home and starts playing World of Warcraft, then gets a ringy dingy on his cell phone, verbally offering him a job! Austin our son comes racing upstairs like he got the best birthday present ever, and we all go celebrate. He starts June 6th.

Cancer is NOT sexy

I first had the realization that cancer is not sexy, when Farrah Fawcett died. One former co-worker of mine made inappropriate jokes about how he used to get his jollies looking at one of the many pictures of her (before cancer)

For me cancer has meant being bald for a period of time, with a scar on the right side of my head. I also tire easier, and some (including myself) have made jokes about how I rarely stay up past 9pm.

So it's no wonder my husband is hooked to the role-playing game World of Warcraft. It's the perfect companion. It doesn't get tired, and perhaps some of the avatars are hot.

The invisible women

I was talking to a friend and former classmate of mine who has cancer. She said something interesting; that in high school, she felt invisible and, that she was in in awe of my "smarts". What? My sister, who got straight As wasn't in awe of my "smarts", and I didn't awe anyone with my looks. In fact, I think I looked stupid.

So I told my friend that I felt invisible too, back in the day. In fact, when I first opened a Facebook account, I wondered if people friended me, just because, or if they friended me because they remembered something about me. I was not that noticeable. Anyway I told my friend that I remembered her and that she wasn't invisible to me. I remember her being in almost all of the school performances, and she always had a bubbly attitude. And yes, she is pretty, though she would say she is plain.

Two invisible women, floating among hundreds of invisible people.

What is a terrorist?

So Public Enemy Number One since the Bush administration, the mastermind of the 9/11 attacks, has been killed.

Lets all celebrate! Let's finally bring the troops home.

I say, not so fast.

Because there most certainly are people out there who are crazy and would think nothing of committing mass murder. There will be a new Public Enemy. It's also true that an act of terrorism can, and has been, committed by Americans. No one corners the market on anger and hatred. Examples:

Timothy McVeigh was a terrorist. He of course blew up the Federal Building in Oklahoma City.

White supremacist groups are terrorists, when they burn churches, or kill non-whites, fueled by their beliefs.

The student who went on a huge shooting rampage at Virginia Tech could be called a terrorist.

Same for the Columbine High School boys, who opened fire on teachers and classmates, and finally themselves.

My point is there is plenty of terrorism both home and abroad. Too often people seem to simplify the definition of terrorist.

opening old wounds.

My friend and classmate Carrie, and my mom both like the show Glee. And I've been watching it on my phone via my Netflix account. The premise of the show is a group of high school misfits in the glee club. Or, at least the members of the club are treated like outcasts. So far, I have watched every episode in the first season.

Its a funny show,(particularly the cheer leading coach) but it opened up some old wounds from when I was in Junior High and High school.

I was reminded again of how two boys pretended to want to go out with me, and when I told them to back off, that I knew were joking, they didn't. Color me pathetic, but that incident shaped me in negative ways. I found it hard to trust boys/men after that, even though I'm 44 now, and I was in eighth grade when this happened. I have often wondered why have not been able to forget about the high jinx of two stupid boys after all this time. If only my brain tumor would affect my long-term memory.

Getting back to the show Glee, one of the club members is openly gay. A female member develops a crush on him, and in doing so, inspires to come up. This scene reminded me of another embarrassing incident from my high school years. I had a friend off and on through high school who was cute, I thought. One day I approached him and he says:

"Eden, can I drop a bomb on you?"

"okay"

"I want you to think of me like you do your friend, Lori."

Oh, how humiliating, for both of us! Thinking of it now, it must have been difficult being gay in a small town (I grew up in Hillsboro, Oregon), but the straight guys weren't paying attention to me, so it was open season on our pride. I learned that you can't "convert" from gay to straight, and to his credit, he didn't try to hide it. I was just stupid, even before the tumor so I believed there was a thin chance that he wasn't.

Perspective

I get caught up in my brain cancer, and I allow myself that.

Not having a brain has proved to me how important that organ is, even to accomplishing simple daily tasks others take for granted. I have been saddened by the number of my classmates, who are also suffering from cancer or other serious illnesses that have made "living" harder. It makes me wonder if the water in my hometown of Hillsboro, Oregon was contaminated.

The latest case and point? My classmate Paula. I thought my cancer was bad, but she has cancer on her liver. That's a lot of pain, and a frighteningly long surgery (8hours). I've been struggling with how best to help her. What I do know is that you can live with cancer, and I have tried to assure her of this. I also know it's not pretty-- a lot of worry, fatigue, nausea and sometimes pain. And there's the commuting to, and waiting at doctor's offices, sometimes just for the privilege of getting no useful news, or bad news. A patient has to pull his or herself up from the bootstraps, and tell his or herself that that it's worth it.

Good news for people who like bad news

Let's start with the good news. I had part of my plantar wart of doom removed. The doctor thought it best to remove it in stages, as I am a cancer patient at an elevated risk of infection. I arrived at 1:30pm and left at 4:00. Although it was laser surgery, knives and needs were in the room. Knives were used to scrape and dig. Needles were used to administer local anesthesia that made me scream like a banshee. After the digging and painful needles, the laser machine cauterized the many craters. As soon as these cratere heal, it will be time to dig more craters.

Yes, that is the good news. The bad news is, after interviewing all day with a head cold, and driving a total of eight hours, Amazon.com told my husband he wasn't a good match. We'll see how far we can get with unemployment and Social Security.